Surviving Christmas in the NICU

Parents often ask how do you survive the NICU during the holidays? This is a tough one! Nobody, absolutely nobody wants to be in the hospital at Christmas! Not the patients. families or the staff. But we are so blessed to have hospitals and people who are willing to be there for those that need it! In some countries they don't even have NICU units in their hospitals.

Jesus Christ was born into this world under some of the harshest conditions with no crib for a bed. This time of year we celebrate His birth, life and mission. He came to comfort the weary, strengthen the weak and bind up the brokenhearted. He understands all our sorrows, griefs and pains. Being in the hospital gives us a beautiful backdrop to discover the true meaning of Christmas and have the most meaningful Christmases ever if we will let it.

Elliot was not in the NICU at Christmas but he did spend the next two Christmases in the hospital so we know a little bit about what it is to be in the hospital at Christmas. The last time, especially, we felt like Christmas was ruined. I am afraid we did not handle it the best at the time. But looking back on it there were so many things we could have done or that we wished we had done. I have thought a lot about this since then. Maybe some of my thoughts will help you too:

• A good place to start is to have the right attitude. It can make ALL the difference! Always look at the big picture. At least in the NICU your baby is alive being cared for. Things could be so much worse. Having gratitude is so helpful to body, mind and soul. And looking for the good things will do wonders for your morale. Don't dwell on what you don't have but try and make the best of the situation you are in right now. It doesn't do you or your baby any good to wish things were different. Your reality is your baby is in the hospital at Christmas so think about all the things you CAN do, not the things you can't do.
  
• This will be a wonderful story to tell your baby in the future. A first Christmas is a first Christmas even if it is in the NICU! So document it! Take pictures. Write in your journal about it. Keep a blog or a journal of your baby's journey through the NICU.
• Take the time to start some family traditions. Think of the traditions you want and ways you can begin to do them right now - in the NICU. For example: reading "the Night Before Christmas" on Christmas Eve, reading the Nativity Story from Luke or wearing new Christmas Jammies are some things you can do right now. Take pictures of it.
  
• Have family members write letters and Christmas cards to your baby about how they feel about her. How much they love her. How excited they are to get to hold her etc. Be sure you write a letter too. Put these up on the wall near her in the NICU. Take Pictures of it.
  
• Ask the nurses what they will/won't let you do. You may be able to bring in some decorations or toys. The staff does this every holiday so they might have some great suggestions. All you need to do is ask. Ask more than one person. Ask what other parents have done over the years - you might be surprised by what you can do!
  
• After you find out what you can bring to the NICU plan a special 12 Days of Christmas for your baby using those suggestions. Bring in or do something special in the NICU everyday.Since your baby won't know what you are doing be sure to take pictures of everything so you can tell him about it later.
  
• Take the time to write down all the people who took care of her at Christmas time. Take their pictures with your baby. These people are modern day angels. Make sure your baby will know about them in the future.
• Do service for the NICU staff especially if they are working on Christmas Eve or Christmas day. Bring them treats, if you sing, then consider caroling to them. They are away from their families to take care of your baby. I can think of no greater service than to thank them for their sacrifices.

You will survive this! Either way you will get through it. The big questions is how will you get through it? Will it be a joyful experience or a sad one? I wish we had done a better job of being joyful. There is joy to be found in every situation...even in the NICU! If you have any suggestions that are not listed here be sure to drop us a comment and tell us your ideas.

May you be blessed with the best Christmas ever!

Merry Christmas & Happy New Year,

Debbie Besselievre