Surviving Christmas in the NICU

Parents often ask how do you survive the NICU during the holidays? This is a tough one! Nobody, absolutely nobody wants to be in the hospital at Christmas! Not the patients. families or the staff. But we are so blessed to have hospitals and people who are willing to be there for those that need it! In some countries they don't even have NICU units in their hospitals.

Jesus Christ was born into this world under some of the harshest conditions with no crib for a bed. This time of year we celebrate His birth, life and mission. He came to comfort the weary, strengthen the weak and bind up the brokenhearted. He understands all our sorrows, griefs and pains. Being in the hospital gives us a beautiful backdrop to discover the true meaning of Christmas and have the most meaningful Christmases ever if we will let it.

Elliot was not in the NICU at Christmas but he did spend the next two Christmases in the hospital so we know a little bit about what it is to be in the hospital at Christmas. The last time, especially, we felt like Christmas was ruined. I am afraid we did not handle it the best at the time. But looking back on it there were so many things we could have done or that we wished we had done. I have thought a lot about this since then. Maybe some of my thoughts will help you too:

• A good place to start is to have the right attitude. It can make ALL the difference! Always look at the big picture. At least in the NICU your baby is alive being cared for. Things could be so much worse. Having gratitude is so helpful to body, mind and soul. And looking for the good things will do wonders for your morale. Don't dwell on what you don't have but try and make the best of the situation you are in right now. It doesn't do you or your baby any good to wish things were different. Your reality is your baby is in the hospital at Christmas so think about all the things you CAN do, not the things you can't do.
  
• This will be a wonderful story to tell your baby in the future. A first Christmas is a first Christmas even if it is in the NICU! So document it! Take pictures. Write in your journal about it. Keep a blog or a journal of your baby's journey through the NICU.
• Take the time to start some family traditions. Think of the traditions you want and ways you can begin to do them right now - in the NICU. For example: reading "the Night Before Christmas" on Christmas Eve, reading the Nativity Story from Luke or wearing new Christmas Jammies are some things you can do right now. Take pictures of it.
  
• Have family members write letters and Christmas cards to your baby about how they feel about her. How much they love her. How excited they are to get to hold her etc. Be sure you write a letter too. Put these up on the wall near her in the NICU. Take Pictures of it.
  
• Ask the nurses what they will/won't let you do. You may be able to bring in some decorations or toys. The staff does this every holiday so they might have some great suggestions. All you need to do is ask. Ask more than one person. Ask what other parents have done over the years - you might be surprised by what you can do!
  
• After you find out what you can bring to the NICU plan a special 12 Days of Christmas for your baby using those suggestions. Bring in or do something special in the NICU everyday.Since your baby won't know what you are doing be sure to take pictures of everything so you can tell him about it later.
  
• Take the time to write down all the people who took care of her at Christmas time. Take their pictures with your baby. These people are modern day angels. Make sure your baby will know about them in the future.
• Do service for the NICU staff especially if they are working on Christmas Eve or Christmas day. Bring them treats, if you sing, then consider caroling to them. They are away from their families to take care of your baby. I can think of no greater service than to thank them for their sacrifices.

You will survive this! Either way you will get through it. The big questions is how will you get through it? Will it be a joyful experience or a sad one? I wish we had done a better job of being joyful. There is joy to be found in every situation...even in the NICU! If you have any suggestions that are not listed here be sure to drop us a comment and tell us your ideas.

May you be blessed with the best Christmas ever!

Merry Christmas & Happy New Year,

Debbie Besselievre

Christmas Sale

Our annual Christmas Sale is in full swing! This is our best sale of the year - 25% off our already low prices. During this sale you will not find any preemie clothes for less anywhere!

We love Christmas and everything about it so we have this sale to spread Christmas cheer to families who have a baby in the NICU. It is tough to go through the holidays with a preemie. This is something we understand very well!

Even after bringing Elliot home from the NICU he ended up with two hospital stays during Christmas two years in a row. One of them happened on Christmas day. The kids came early in the morning to open presents with us, watch the parade and have breakfast. On the way home Elliot started violently throwing up. It wasn't long until it was clear he needed to go to the hospital. It turned out he had the rotavirus, a nasty intestinal bug that lasts for 7 to 10 days. For Elliot's frail 15 pound frame this was a devistating illness. He was 18 months old at the time and every ounce was precious. All of our hard work to put wieght on him over the past year was severely underminded in a matter of days. Through all of this it was difficult to keep Christmas alive in our hearts and minds. It didn't seem like a blessing at the time, but looking back on it we learned so much about what was important and what was not. I am sure I am not alone in this - many of you are learning the same lessons under much more difficult circumstances.

We know we can do precious little to improve the situations of preemie families, but we offer our small gift to you in the hope that we can help in some small way to bring a little of the Christmas spirit to you!

From our Family to yours -

We wish you a Merry Christmas
& a Healthy and Peaceful New Year!

Christmas is Coming...

This time of year is especially hard for families with a preemie in the hospital. The holidays are here and usually it is a time for happiness, parties, fun and family. For parents of a preemie in the NICU this time of year can be anything but fun.

It is for this reason that we try to make things a little easier. We know that the only thing that would help is if your baby were full term and home with you - that much is obvious to all of us. However, there a ways to build some Christmas memories right now, even in the NICU.

This is why we love to provide Christmas clothes at Elliot's Preemie Tees! And this year we are doing something NEW. We will still have the Christmas Sets at a discounted price but in addition to that we will now have all of our preemie clothing line available in the Christmas Fabrics! And to give you something to look forward to here is a sneak preview of our holiday selections:







Like all of our holiday selections - they go fast! So if you see something you like then order it soon to make sure you have it.

We hope this will give your family a little joy during the holidays. We pray for you and your families and wish you Happy Holidays!

Preemie Halloween Costumes have Arrived!

I know that many of you wonderful parents have been checking regularly to see if we have our Halloween Costumes. Well...they are now here! We are so exited to have new designs this year. The Pumpkin, Cat and Ghost are back for a second year too. So here is a list of the new costumes:

Tiny Princess
Lady Bug
Bumble Bee
Space Alien
Dinosaur

I have just order all the fabrics for the Halloween and Christmas seasons. (Christmas will be up when we take down the Halloween Costumes!) And for the first time we will have Hanukkah fabric this year!

Please be aware that I only order very small quantities of all of these holiday fabrics so when they are gone - they are gone for good! So If you see something you love order it right away because it may not be here later. Also, we will only be making costumes through October 20th to allow plenty of time for delivery.

Now for the unveiling of the Tiny Princess and Bumble Bee -
Aren't they adorable??? so cute! I will have the Alien and Dinosaur up in about 3 days. But if you want one of the ones we have now then order them! Imagine a store with hundreds of ladies lined up banging on the glass to get in...

that is what it is like around here this time of year! Seriously! I am not even kidding!!! Help!

I'll Be Home for Christmas...

Those words mean a lot of different things to a lot of different people. To the parents of a premature baby it means starting a new life together as a family. To be let out of the NICU before Christmas is the best of gifts. These past few weeks as I have sewn countless clothes for preemies all over the world. I think about all those babies in the hospitals during Christmas and it nearly reduces me to tears.

This week I have come to appreciate that song with a different twist. I am not sure I was prepared for what happened to our family on Christmas Day...

We had grand plans for the holidays. Elliot is getting old enough to know something is going on, although he still has no idea about Christmas yet. At 18 months old he is so fun to watch as he discovers all the new sights and sound of Christmas. His delight at sucking on a peppermint stick with intermittent declarations of pleasure..."Mmmm, Mmmm" he says as he leans in for another lick. He hasn't grown tired of pushing the button on this year's Hallmark creation to make the snowman and penguins dance as he claps his hands and pushes the button again ...and again...and again. His great big smile and the delight in his eyes just melts my heart!

Christmas Eve I made my family a formal 6 course dinner. Prime rib and Chocolate Lava Cake were among the tantalizing taste sensations on the menu. (I have been a personal chef in another life.) We had a delightful dinner, opened our presents of new pajamas and piled into the car to go look at Christmas lights in our area. The scene was doubly delightful against the backdrop of new snowfall a few days earlier. I looked around at my family all singing Christmas carols thinking that it doesn't get any better than this!

When we arrive home we watched a DVD about the birth of Jesus called "Joy to the World" and then my dear daughter, her husband and sweet baby went home to plan for Santa's late night visit. They planned to come again in the morning to unwrap the rest of the Christmas presents.

Elliot was thrilled with his Tickle Me Elmo! He watched it with delight and squeals of laughter as long as it didn't come too close. If Elmo rolled his way he backed up saying "Ooooo!" He took to opening his presents like a pro and loved tearing the paper as if he had always known how! He even started helping everyone else open their presents too! At one point I looked down at my pile of presents and saw his blonde, fuzzy head and the distinct sound of rrrripppp, followed by a big mischievous grin. We were all having so much fun!!

Then the unthinkable happened... As their sweet family headed home for showers and then to BJ's dads house, Elliot began violently throwing up. He continued to be sick every 10 minutes for the next four hours. A frantic call from my daughter with a plea for help. A call to the doctor confirmed he needed to go to the hospital. Suddenly, everything changed. What started out to be a wonderful day took a horrible turn for the worse.

There comes a point in every preemie parent's life when it finally all comes caving in on you. Christmas day was THE day for my daughter. When she got to the hospital she just started crying uncontrollably. She had reached her limit. I don't know if it was because of all Elliot has been through or that it happened on Christmas. So many expectations and plans that just were not going to happen now with a baby so violently ill. It was probably all of it. But she lost it. My daughter has been so brave for so long I am surprised it took her this long to break down.

Elliot did come home and he spent the rest of Christmas day with parents...with an IV in his arm and a return visit scheduled for the next day. He was diagnosed with Rotavirus. Nasty stuff this virus - it is bad news for a healthy baby, never mind a preemie of tiny size. It can take 5 to 10 days to get over. With Elliot's petite size of 15 1/2 pounds no wonder they are taking precautions, but my daughter intuitively senses the danger her baby is in once again and it is too much to think that he has once again come so close to death's door. "Will he escape again?" is probably the only question on her mind and it is way too hard to address that question ...so many times.

The truth of the matter is that as long as Elliot is so small we are and will be forced to take a close look at his mortality from time to time. For all of us it is becoming as familiar as an old friend who unexpectedly stops by for a visit.

I am also amazed at how patient this little one is with his calling as a preemie. After he stopped throwing up and got a bit of his appetite back he tired quickly of Pedialyte and wanted something a little more substantial. So he began frantically signing the words "milk" and "cracker" and when his parents refused his request he resorted to the only plea he knows by following it with the sign "please?" When he was refused he dropped his head onto his daddies shoulder sobbing and pounding his fist. After a few minutes at an attempted fit he fell asleep exhausted; too sick and too tired to throw a proper fit. Poor baby!

After the return trip to the hospital he is sent home again with the IV intact for one more day... just to make sure. For me this has put the holidays into perspective. It wasn't the Christmas we planned on or hoped for but at least now he can have his milk (diluted) and crackers! The simple pleasures of an 18 month old. For the rest of us...at least he is home for Christmas!